The Gift Everyone Wants to Receive … but Seldom Wants to Give

Are you working on your Sally List?  (Don’t know what a Sally List is?  Click HERE to read about it.)   I’ve been working on mine, and my offer to do a meal for our local women’s shelter … complete with tablescape, of course … was accepted with great excitement.  We’re working towards a Feb. 13 Valentines Eve candlelight dinner, and I plan to use these beautiful Theodore Haviland plates I won from Cherry Kay’s fantastic giveaway at Entertaining Women.  Won’t they be perfect for a soft, feminine Valentine-theme table?
As I’ve read some of your Sally List comments and emails, there’s been one topic that keeps getting mentioned, and I can’t get it off my mind.  You see, I know how it feels to be stuck where some of you are.  Boy do I know how it feels!

It’s an uncomfortable idea.

I, too, have been hurt by people (or someone I love has been wronged, which was actually harder for me to deal with) and I had to make a choice.  Do I forgive my offender or do I say FORGET IT! … and live out my days holding a grudge and wishing God would heap “burning coals” upon the other person’s head — or at least make their life as miserable as they’d made mine.

Some of you are right there … needing to make a choice … but wanting to hold on to your pain just a little while longer.  It’s very possible you did nothing to bring on the situation, yet here you are having to expend your energy to deal with hurt and anger … wanting to “do the right thing” … yet not wanting to let the offender get away with what they did.  Yes?

It’s hard to see anything beyond the stickery hurt and pain … and the temptation to hurt ’em back.  Bill Eilliff once said, “Bitterness robs us of joy and peace.  It hijacks us, taking us places we never wanted to go, doing things we never wanted to do, and making us people we never wanted to be.”

Yeah. I’ve been there, too.

When we’re hurting or angry, it’s hard to realize that “God is sovereign over the hurts others inflict on us and will use them for redemptive purposes if we let him.” (Nancy Leigh DeMoss)  It’s hard to imagine that something good, or even beautiful, could possibly be found amidst the thorns, but in time … it can.


Often the first step is choosing to WANT to forgive.  Making that choice day after day, you’ll eventually see that, while you’ll almost certainly never forget, the choice to forgive is getting easier … becoming more comfortable.  There’s beginning to be a tiny bit of light behind the clouds …

They say practice makes perfect.  I can tell you from experience that it works with forgiveness.  For some of you, the upcoming holidays may be a good time to practice.  Really, friends … isn’t it time to let the sunshine back in?


To forgive is to set the prisoner free, and then discover that the prisoner was you.  (Author unknown)

I’m praying for you today.

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.  (Ephesians 4:32)

Linking to Inspiration Friday @ At The Picket Fence, Spiritual Sundays @ Blogger Spirit, and Seasonal Sundays @ The Tablescaper.



  1. Wonderful and inspirational post. It is hard to forgive when we’ve been hurt.

    why don’t your bring this wonderful post to Seasonal Sundays?

    – The Tablescaper