Do You Earn A Merit Badge?

While sitting in the beauty shop the other day waiting for a haircut, I picked up this magazine.
 
One short article caused me to chuckle and grab my smartphone so I could share this with you … and so I wouldn’t forget it.  I don’t even think you’ll mind my inferior pics.
 
The writer decided to celebrate the 100th anniversary of Girl Scouts by forming a new association:  Boomer Scouts.  She even created merit badges to recognize the triumphs of Baby Boomers so often unrecognized by those around them. According to Boomer Scouts spokeswoman, Carolyn Bucior, (the author herself), “These badges aim to affirm and celebrate our everyday wins while we still can.”
 

While, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, Baby Boomers are people born between 1946 and 1964, I suspect some of you who don’t quite fall into the Boomer category will get a kick out of some of these, too.  Here are the descriptions word-for-word from the Boomer Scout founder.
 
How many have you earned?
 

COMPLETE-OUTFIT BADGE
This signifies that you have selected and publicly worn a complete and coordinated outfit.  For women, that includes shoes, accessories and a skirt whose hem has not been rolled up, pinned, paper clipped or duct taped.
 
 

BLENDED-HOUSEHOLDS DECOR BADGE
The requirements here are tough — you must embrace the history, passions and so-called taste of your spouse.  To qualify at any point in your marriage you must:
  • Accept your partner’s “art” by allowing it to be displayed in a prominent area.
  • Quit nagging him about the hideous memorabilia arrayed on the bookcase and (let’s be honest) ruining the visuals of the entire room.
 
 

ROUTINE-HOME-MAINTENANCE BADGE
You must mow the lawn.  Scrub the scum.  Change the furnace filter.  Pay the telephone bill.  Then you do it again.  There is no ticker tape parade.  But now there is this badge.
 
 

ROUTINE-PERSONAL-MAINTENANCE BADGE
To qualify, you must have done at least two of the following:
  • Ignored an open box of cupcakes at work.
  • Tossed out one or more outfits dating back to the ’90s.
  • Visited your colorist before the gray roots hit one inch.
  • Made at least 12 trips to the gym for which you paid an annual membership fee.
 
 

PRETENDING-TO-CARE BADGE
You knew there had to be some reward for listening while your nearest and dearest prattle on.  And there is.  This badge can be worn passively, on your official Boomer Scout sash, or aggressively, sewn onto a pair of earmuffs.
 
 

“I REMEMBER!” BADGE
Are there two male singers named Bono?  What’s my password?  Why did I come into this room?  Who’s that actor, from the ’60s, tall, not Cary Grant …?  Who’s devoted to the principles of Ayn Rand — Paul Ryan or Ron Paul?  When you remember, you earn a badge.  There are no limits on the number of “I Remember!” badges.
 
 

DON’T-RETIRE-EARLY BADGE
 Any boomer who shows up to work on her 56th birthday will automatically be issued this badge.  Sobbing is allowed.
 
 

FAFSA BADGE
This badge symbolizes that you’ve filed (on time) your child’s college financial-aid forms, which have to be filed every frickin’ year using an online form that routinely does not save your data and forces you to re-enter it and why don’t we have an easier way to do this, I mean, come on!?
 
 

ADULT-CHILD BADGE
To get this award, you must have abandoned futile efforts to steer your grown child’s life, recognizing at last that he/she is (at least theoretically) an independent human being, capable of screwing up his/her own life.  Specific requirements include performance of at least two of the following:
  • Refraining from looking at his/her Facebook page for one year.
  • Refraining from telling him/her that the fiance(e) is not good enough.
  • Refraining from telling him/her that your grandchild does indeed need a nap.


OK, so stop laughing and count again — since you’ve probably already forgotten.  How many Boomer Scout merit badges have YOU earned … so far?

Thanks for stopping by! I hope every one of you have a fantastic week.
 
 
Join me for these parties…
Blue Monday at Smiling Sally
Mosaic Monday at Little Red House
 

Comments

  1. I earned four!!! xo

  2. I think I have earned every one of those badges..although I was never a girl scout to begin with….does it still apply?;>) xo Diana

  3. I’ve earned most of those badges! Thanks for sharing that bit of blue.

    Happy Blue Monday, Susan.

  4. I think I have earned every one too..lol
    I was a Daisy and Brownie leader…good times.

  5. Brilliant stuff! I’ve definitely earned most of those badges! I just have to earn that Don’t-Retire-Early Badge now! … and there will be sobbing! Great post.

  6. I’ve earned most of these badges but I had to cheat on a couple. This is a great post. I am forwarding it to my friends.

  7. This is just great!!!!!!!!!! You made my day…I have to have a copy!! Oh I just finished fixing our dryer last night…so I am have more than earned that one…but have to confess I am working on the last one, old habits are hard to break, especially when you are still in mommy mode with two at home!

    This is great…I will have to copy and put in a scrapbook. Thanks for sharing!!!

  8. This is such a darling post. I love it…love it ALL.
    Too cute.
    I am sooo interested in knowing who did your adorable header…YOU? did you say YOU DID? It is so stinkin’ cute, I am pretty sure I want you to draw me one, too. :))
    Come by for my blues and a giveaway you might like.:)
    ox bj

  9. Cool badges..

    Visiting for Blue Monday- hope you can stop by:)

    http://appleduffle.com/2012/05/lawn-mowers-manual.html

  10. This is awesome, I don’t wanto to admit how many I have earned…lets just say several…still working on that last badge though. This list is a keeper

  11. I’m giggling so hard that the daughter just stuck her head in here to see why.

    Do I still get the “blended decor badge” if I covered those silly Charlie Brown and Snoopy pillows that crossed the marital threshold?

    And the “pretending to care” badge goes to the family BOY Boomer Scout. My middle name is blahblahblah… Shouldn’t there be a “blahblahblah” badge as well?

    So glad I didn’t miss this. Thanks for the laughs. Now, I’m going upstairs to try to match together an outfit so I can get a badge.

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